


Innocence

by Gentrix



Series: Chosen Peace [6]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Loss of Innocence, Mental Breakdown, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, One Shot, dalish lullaby, first kill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25668607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gentrix/pseuds/Gentrix
Summary: The Keeper had always warned them about the potential consequences of killing humans in a world dominated by mankind. Thus, she had never killed any living being excluding animals to feed their clan. The clan never had to defend themselves from humans anymore after Bann Trevelyan provided them with sanctuary and protection within his lands.After the Breach opened and demons started falling out of rifts, she had to slay demons to defend herself and innocent people from being killed.Slaying demons were easier. People, on the other hand, were different than demons.She can still hear the gurgle of the man, choking on his own blood before collapsing to the ground. She could only stare at the man, dying before her very eyes, her daggers embedded deep in his torso before she removed it, his blood staining her hands as she desperately tried to put pressure to the deep wounds.He dies and she can't feel a thing.
Relationships: Inquisitor & Cassandra Pentaghast, Inquisitor & Solas (Dragon Age), Inquisitor & Varric Tethras, Lavellan & Cassandra Pentaghast, Lavellan & Solas, Lavellan & Varric Tethras
Series: Chosen Peace [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841563
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Innocence

It was their first trip to the Hinterlands, surrounding by a platoon of soldiers to bolster the ranks of Corporal Vale. Without any horses available, they had to walk to the Hinterlands as a large group, even if it means making their group a bigger target to be ambushed, thinking the soldiers were escorting someone wealthy or important. Well, they were accompanying the supposed Herald of Andraste, a considered heretic by the eyes of the Chantry. Truly, it wasn't a surprise to be ambushed after their second day, half-way through their trip.

But she never considered she had to kill a person.

After Bann Trevelyan provided sanctuary and protection within his lands, her clan never had to take arms to defend themselves from humans who wanted to hunt them down, just because they were elves. The bann was a very powerful man in the Free Marches and not one noble house would dare send hired men to destroy a Dalish clan in fear of retaliation from a powerful house with alliances ranging from posh Orlais to blood magic extravaganza Tevinter. She had enjoyed an almost peaceful life with her clan and the Trevelyan household, trained by the hunters of her clan and the occasional tutoring sessions prepared by Bann Trevelyan. She knew how to defend herself, finding out she had finesse with a pair of daggers and a bow, but she never had killed or laid a hand on a person.

That changed after the ambush settled.

She had only used her bow to incapacitate their enemies while the scouts around her would finish the job as she averted her eyes but somehow, one managed to slip through the scouts' defenses and grabbed her by the throat, dropping her bow to the ground. No one was paying attention to her as she struggled, fear evident in her as the man sneered cruelly and she desperately grabbed her daggers, driving it deep into his torso.

She felt cold, the blood staining her hands, ignoring the painful bruise on her neck, words tumbling out of her lips, the daggers she pulled out was being gently removed by a scout as Solas comes to her aid. She stares into his grey-blue eyes and she can barely hears him. The only thing she can hear is the man's gurgles as he chokes on his own blood, his last breath before dying in front of her.

"Da'len, calm down, please!" Solas urged as she feels his hands gently grabbed her figure, pulling her into his embrace. "It's okay."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "No, I-I killed someone! Oh god... Oh god... Forgive me! H-He had his hands a-around me! I had to! Oh god, I had to!"

"Aerin," Cassandra kneels besides her, laying down her sword and shield to the ground. "You had no choice. It was either him or you."

"No!" Aerin yells out. "I-I could've incapacitated him! I-I didn't have to kill him!"

Varric cuts in, hand placed at her shoulder, gently squeezing it. "Kid, no, you had to. You couldn't have gotten free. The man was huge and you could've been killed! Please, kid, you had to."

She violently shakes her head, desperately trying to free herself from Solas's embrace. "I didn't have to!"

"Hush," Solas says, rocking her gently as he starts to sing a familiar lullaby, ignoring the stares around them. " _Elgara vallas, da'len. Melava somniar. Mala taren aravas, ara ma'desen melar._ "

She just whimpers, barely listening to the lullaby, eyes still glazed as she stares at her bloody hand. A scout gently grabs her hand and scrubs it off with a wet rag, pitiful eyes staring into hers but she ignores the scout. She can still feel the man's hands around her and remembers how easy it was to kill him. Suddenly, she yelps as Solas stands up, cradling her gently and starts walking away with her in tow, her arms around his neck, her eyes still welling up in tears. She didn't care that she had her arms wrapped around the Dread Wolf as she soaks up the affection he gives to her as he gently pats her hair, carrying her as if she weighted nothing.

"We'll make camp," Cassandra says, sorrow clear in her eyes and Aerin looks away. "It's... been a long day."

"No shit Seeker."

Aerin croaks out, startling her three companions, the remaining scouts who had not been tasked to burn the bodies trailed behind them. "Tell me a story, Varric. Please."

"Sure, kid," he gently smiles, knows that she needed something to forget what she had done. "Let's talk about the time Broody tried to surprise Hawke for his birthday."

She lets his voice be carried through the wind, Cassandra trying to pay attention while simultaneously act as if she did not want to hear about the Champion while Solas just continued carried her and not let her go. She lays her head on Solas's shoulder, still desperately trying to forgot the man choking on his own blood and yet, praying to god that she can get through this. She knows that her first kill won't be the last in this world. She can only pray for forgiveness and hopes to god that it will be accepted cause the bloodshed will never end until she stops the Elder One.

**Author's Note:**

> Translation:
> 
> Elgara vallas, da'len. Melava somniar. Mala taren aravas, ara ma'desen melar. - Sun sets, little one. Time to dream. Your mind journeys, but I will hold you here.


End file.
